Amy Silverman: All I want for Christmas is you
Download mp3 (5.12 MB)The holidays can be complicated even in the best of times, and this year has been, well, you know. But commentator Amy Silverman isn't singing the COVID-19 blues. She's got another song in mind.
Amy Silverman is an essayist, novelist and frequent contributor to KJZZ. This Christmas, she reflects back on what a hard year it's been, and how grateful she is for the holidays.
“All I want for Christmas is you” by Amy Silverman
Christmas trees started popping up on my Instagram feed in August. Now, in a typical year, that kind of thing would really bum me out. There are rules, people. RULES. Everyone knows you aren’t supposed to partake in any kind of Christmas-y business until after Thanksgiving.
But 2021 was hardly a typical year, and if it made you feel better to haul that fake tree out of the garage in the 115-degree heat, I’m glad.
To be honest, I barely held on myself. Ever since March 2020, when the universe chucked us all down a rabbit hole, I’ve felt like Alice in a not-so-wonderful land. It’s hard to get out of bed in the morning, let alone keep track of what day it is.
“Mom, can we PLEASE put on the Christmas music?” My younger daughter, Sophie, asked when we got in the car on the day after Thanksgiving.
“Absolutely,” I answered, and her big sister Annabelle cued up a cheesy favorite.
Singing along at the top of my lungs as we drove across town, I reminded myself to be grateful for a moment of pure joy.
It’s never easy to be in the moment, but no more so than these days, where time moves in ways that would confound even the most seasoned Alice.
For Annabelle, now a college junior, time sped up — after quarantine interrupted her freshman year, she returned to her college in Oregon. But instead of going back to the dorm, she found a house to rent with friends. Overnight, she was all grown up — learning to clean a toilet, pay bills and make her own schedule.
“She lives in Portland now,” My husband said wistfully when Annabelle chose not to come home for fall break this year.
For Sophie, time slowed down. Scheduled to graduate from high school last May, we gave her a second senior year. We all deserve a do-over year after 2020, and I managed to get one for Sophie, a blessing since we still haven’t quite figured out what a kid with Down syndrome and a high school degree is going to do next.
So yeah, I’m kind of a wreck these days.
The words of the song echoed in my head — “All I want for Christmas is you” — and I wiped a few tears as we drove, thinking this is all I want, all any of us need: time together.
And then just as quickly, I was laughing.
A month ago, I was sure I could grant Sophie’s wish to see her favorite musical on Broadway on a spring break trip to New York City. Now I’m not so sure. Time will tell, as they say.
For today, we’ve got each other — and Christmas music.
